Insanity ~.~

There's nothing quite as dangerous as boredom. It can cause me to behave in quite erratic ways, despite my rational and objective nature. Rather than let that happen this time, why not take some of my saved leave or ask my mate to take a break with me? If I don't, I might end up getting so frustrated that one tiny mishap sets off an explosion that can be heard for miles.

The very first article in English that i type in this blog. I wondering sometimes am i too bored or am i too stressed up myself. That could lead me into a dead end. It's so suffering that having this kind of emotional problem. Is it i'm one of those 'strawberry' in this kind of reality world. I think I am over estimated my own capability,now it sunk me without hesitation.

First, the problem I have to face,it's not only $$. I need to bear all the stress and pressure in one shot from $$,work,and studies. Overall, I am useless. Though, now realising that nothing is perfectly done so i decided to put in more selfishness to finish up my studies. Secondly only for job and others. Anyway, i need to bear in mind that my healthy is not as perfectly as those days, it had been worse and worse. Get tired easily, exhausted easily. Thus, it wouldn't fine for me to keep pushing on.

Feeling thankful that my darling were with me. Although I just being nasty and irritate him a lot, he is not just go away while i ask him to leave me alone. Sorry my dear. My emotion keeps me a lot of problem. I trying to be perfect cuz afraid to lose perhaps. Darling, would u leave when realising that was the imperfection? Not just you, even ppl around me. Me myself is a perfectionist that i knew it badly. I care for wat i am, and i care for how ease i can.

By the way, when u telling me (or scolding me???) bout the job that day, i was totally upset and all i think is wat can i gain more to solve my problem. And please dun say that i am naive or wat, i felt being looked down though you go through more than me in real. So wat?i dun need comparison as we're different person and different problem. Dun compare it as nothing is terrible than wat u went through. I show my respect for wat you experienced, but this world ain't only you whom went through tough situation. It's so hurt. I wouldn't tell this to you however, i dun wan let u feel hurt with any chances. Cuz i will feel bad even more. So, In order to make myself free from guilty, i have to keep it miles away from you. Hehe. Pls go go away dam sadness..xD.

I will leave, if wat i worry is really happened. Pls forgive me. Loving you babe..